Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Shame - the story of my life.
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