Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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