your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
