If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
