Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Randomize
