I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Your mouth is God's brothel.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
