It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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