I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
