i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
