There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
