Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
