fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
birth control should be required to get into college
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
