I puked a lego.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
