I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
