anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
