is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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