My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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