I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
