he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
