pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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