I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
