I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
