your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
