I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My vagina just clenched in fear
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
