you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize