i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
