When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
