Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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