i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize