i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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