Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
