she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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