Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize