dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
