Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
