I wish I only lived at night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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