Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
