I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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