I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
