oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize