He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What drink are we having for lunch?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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