yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
