Screwed.edu
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
