my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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