Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
whose parrot is this?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
