im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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