this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
