Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
