my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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