Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
