guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
