He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
