i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
