You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
