Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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