You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize