STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you win again, gameday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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