Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize