4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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