I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize