I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
