You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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