too bad you live with your parents still
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Semen is not good for contacts.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
