I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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