Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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