Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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