I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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