aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize