I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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