I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
