New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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