moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
