I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize