and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
