on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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