I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
