I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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