i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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