Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Who died my cat blue again?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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