I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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