I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
