I want to make a zoo with you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
