Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
