I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
